I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize