I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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