i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Randomize
