I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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