Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Damn victory sex feels great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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