i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize