How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
so explain again why im purple
no
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
