Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
