Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
