Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
