Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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