I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
oh god was she eating orange peels again
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
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