I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize