Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I have aggressive nipples.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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