just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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