And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
