So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
