I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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