Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
