K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Operation Purity has been aborted
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
