Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Randomize
