have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
