He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
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