Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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