i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Randomize
