my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
