Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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