I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
