My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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