I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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