were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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