Me too!
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
