just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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