he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
