Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
