I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
