i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
