I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
