I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Im part way to drunk.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
