And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
