i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
