I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
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