my vag is so smooth its legendary
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
