I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
