I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
