I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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