I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
