I'm gonna have a badass scar
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Randomize
