some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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