we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Randomize
