I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
