everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
