READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
