so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
