could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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