The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize