And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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