this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Randomize
