God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
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