i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
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