You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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