Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
