my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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