I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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