he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
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either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
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In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.