Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!