Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.