Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
