Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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