Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
i barfeds in our rink
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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